The Lows of Highs (or is it the Highs of Lows?)

Dear Andre, (4 min read)

I know I should be thrilled.

I've got some amazing things happening. Major wins in my business. About to fly to Brazil with friends. Deadlifted 295 lbs for 4 reps.

Yet at the same time there's this pressure I feel because of real obligations I'm choosing. And I feel this weight. This tension of: Can I keep operating at this level, or will it crush me? I’ve got nothing to lose, and so much to gain. Ahhhhhhh. Stay.

Here's the thing

If 2026 Daniel could tell 2022 Daniel what happened just this week, he'd be amazed. Coated 2 cars, detailed 7. I made 30 phone calls for my business two different days and had SO much fun doing it. That version of me four years ago? He'd think I was lying. (he’d also be asking “what’s a ceramic coating?”)

But right now, in this moment, I'm not amazed.

I'm tired.

This is the part of the movie they don't show you. The quiet scene before the hero emerges. When you don't know if you'll make it or not. When the wins pile up but so does the weight. When growth feels less like expansion and more like pressure.

And I guess I'm sharing this because, well... I need to.

But also because you might be here too.

I've been thinking a lot about emotional energy lately.

Specifically: where I'm investing it.

Because here's what I'm noticing. If I don't tie immense emotional energy to the wins, I'll actually demotivate myself. (I did this last year by mistake) The brain needs the dopamine hit. It needs to feel the victory. Otherwise, why keep climbing?

But here's the trap: I'm also tying emotional energy to everything that didn't work. Every missed opportunity. Every moment I didn't live up to my own expectations.

And that's the dangerous math.

When wins and losses carry equal emotional weight, you end up breaking even. Or worse—you end up in the red. Because we're wired to remember loses more vividly than wins.

So the question becomes: How do I celebrate wins without burning out? How do I grow without being crushed by the weight of it?

The answer isn't willpower.

It's structure.

The 5-Step Reset (What I'm Doing Today)

This is what I need to do. Maybe it's what you need too.

1. List out all the great things I did this week
Not just the big wins. The small ones too. The phone calls. The conversations. The moments I showed up when I didn't feel like it.

2. List out all the things I wished I'd done
The ways I didn't live up to my own expectations. Get it out of my head and onto paper. Acknowledge it. Then move to step 4.

3. Sit in and FEEL the emotion of each win
This is the part most people skip. Actually close your eyes. Replay the win. Feel the pride. The satisfaction. The "holy shit, I did that." Fall asleep with those feelings. Let your subconscious marinate in success.

4. Downplay the misses
Not ignore them. Not deny them. Just... drain the emotional charge. "Yeah, that didn't go well. Cool. Moving on." Create fewer emotional ties to what didn't work.

5. In the morning, write out James 1
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."

Then go for a walk. Find beauty in everything as you walk. The cracks in the sidewalk. The way light hits the tree. Train your brain to notice what's working, not just what's broken.

You know what I keep coming back to?

Jiu-jitsu.

Structure over strength.

This kind of growth doesn't work well when it's done through willpower. But when it's created through systems? When you build the scaffolding first and then expand into it?

That's when magic happens.

Structure doesn't slow you down. It keeps you free. That I can feel bad, but when I see that there’s evidence of so much good, it’s okay to force myself to experience the good.

And I have to keep reminding myself of this truth.

Because right now, I'm in the 5-second moment of change. Except it's not 5 seconds. It's 5 years. Every story has a before and after. Who a person was versus who they become. But in real life, the transformation isn't a montage. It's staying in rooms that require more of you. It's becoming more organized, structured, systematized. (things I didn’t used to be, but am becoming) It's terrifying and awe-inspiring at the same time.

This is a moment of tremendous growth.

And I think that's the beauty of it.

I don't know if I'll make it or not.

But maybe that's the point.

Your Assignment This Week:

Do the 5-step reset with me.

List your wins. List your misses. Feel the wins deeply. Drain the emotion from the misses. Write something that grounds you. Walk and notice beauty.

That's it.

You don't need to fix everything. You just need to recalibrate where your emotional energy goes.

Well, that's all for now.
-Daniel

P.S. Send this to a friend who needs to hear this.