Just Start: Being Genuinely Interested

Dear Andre,

The number one skill to develop is the ability to be genuinely interested in people.

This is the one skill that is directly linked to the things I am most grateful for in my life today. It's led to my business growing, to being invited to Hawaii and the Czech Republic this year by people I've known for many years, and to staying close with my family even as adults.

Develop this one skill and it will compound as you gain other skills.

The Hike That Changed My Standards

The first time I saw this skill at a really high level was at a hike earlier this year. There was this gentleman who organized it, someone I respected and very much enjoyed being around. But that wasn't the thing that impressed me most.

What impressed me was this: He remembered everyone's names, their businesses, and what they were most interested in or looking for.

There were about 20 different entrepreneurs and founders at this hike, and he went around and introduced each of them by name, what they did, what their company did, or what their current focus was. I remember feeling pretty inspired by that and later asking him: "What's your system for this?"

His response? "Not really. I just genuinely care about each of the people that I meet, and I look for ways to make their lives easier and better based on what they tell me."

I walked away thinking: "Wow, there are levels to how you show genuine interest in people." From that point on, my belief about what's possible in terms of remembering people, what they do, their names and what they do has just gone up.

The Crab Apple Philosophy

This idea of being genuinely interested in people first started for me when I read "How to Win Friends and Influence People." (Listened to it at least 12 times it’s number one on my top 5 books list) There's a story in that book about looking for the good in people and complimenting them. my own recollection of this idea: "If our souls are no better than crab apples, and we can't just give a little genuine appreciation to the people around us, then what are we doing?"

There doesn't have to be an ulterior motive of making people feel good or being thoughtful because of what you get in return. Instead, it's: "How can I just make this person's world better?" If I do that for enough people, eventually things start coming back around for me. I'm doing it because I want to leave little fires of good will burning everywhere I go.

I want to be the type of person who sees the good in people and then chooses to express it, because I think a lot of people think great thoughts about other people but never say them. And I think that's a shame.

Every Person Is Your Superior

There's a quote (I believe it's from Emerson, but I know it's in "How to Win Friends and Influence People") that goes: "Every man is my superior in some way, and in that I learn from him."

That's a pretty simple quote, but it's one of the things that allows me to be fascinated by people. Because I'm fascinated by them, it allows me to be curious and ask: "What's their story? What's their superpower? What are they most excited about in their world?"

The Question That Changes Everything

I find that instead of asking people "What do you do for work?", asking them "What are you most excited about in your life right now?" (whether that's work, a project they're working on, or something else) often reveals what's most important to them.

"What do you do for work?" usually gets a generic and boring response. It doesn't create a great conversation. But if you ask "What are you most excited about in your life?", the energy of the conversation changes, and you find out what's most important to that person.

This also means I can usually either connect them with someone who can help with what they're most excited about, or it gives me the ability to help them when I meet other people later.

What People Actually Want

People want to feel like an insider. They want to feel like people want to see them. They want to easily and automatically remember people and be the person with influence.

This is a muscle that's developed.

I'm always looking for what people need help with in some capacity, because I have a belief that if I know what they need and what they're looking for, then when I meet the next person who needs the solution (or who is the solution), I can make that introduction very easily.

Your Assignment This Week

Be genuinely interested in people. A lot of times, interest looks like asking questions.

This week, instead of asking "What do you do?", try asking: "What are you most excited about in your life right now?"

Watch how the conversation changes.

Well that’s all for now.

-Daniel

PS Next Founders hike is November 8th at 8AM. DM me HIKE on instagram and I’ll send you the details.