Dear Friend, (4 min read)
Nobody prepares you for the worst and the best moments of your life.
But it’s in those moments you know who’s really there for you.
Because before that moment, you built great community on purpose. just put out a youtube video on the Power of Community (and what it’s done for my life) Check it out here
Most people who have deep friendships and rich relationships didn't sit down one day and say, "Alright. Time to build community." They started somewhere else entirely. They started with a dream.
That's where I started.
When I was 17, I had this vision of living in a South or Central American country. I couldn't fully explain it. It wasn't practical. Nobody handed it to me. It just lived inside me like something I was supposed to do.
Fast forward a few years. I'm in my early 20s, and I hear this prayer for the first time:
To live by faith. To be known by love. To be a voice of hope. To dream great dreams—and have the courage to go after them.
Something cracked open.
Because without that dream at 17, and without those words landing on it years later, I would have quietly let it die. Filed it under "someday." Moved on. Done the sensible thing.
Instead, I got on a plane to Ecuador.
Here's the thing most people miss about dreams.
The dream isn't just the destination. The dream is what builds you on the way there.
I would not be who I am relationally (the friendships I have, the community I've built, the experiences I've created for others) if I had not first chased something that scared me.
Because chasing a dream forces you to become someone.
It forces you to read. To show up differently. To say yes to rooms you don't feel ready for. To need people you wouldn't have met any other way.
It was while I was in Ecuador chasing dream number one that I set out dreams two and three: become an author, and drive a car through Europe. I've written the book. The road trip is coming.
Not because I'm impressive. But because one dream has a way of building the courage for the next one.
Here's where this connects to community.
The first step to building great friendships—ironically—has nothing to do with friendships.
It starts with asking: What do I actually want to build in this life?
Because when you have an answer to that question, everything changes. The rooms you walk into. The conversations you have. The people you attract. The version of yourself you're willing to become.
For me, part of what I want to build is this: amazing friendships. Story-worthy experiences. Moments and memories people talk about even when I'm not in the room.
That's not a strategy. That's a vision.
And vision is what turns a quiet, uncertain person into someone magnetic. Not because they're performing. But because they know what they're building—and people want to be near that.
I've watched this play out in my own life over and over.
When I launched my book, the support was overwhelming. Mission trips, events, projects, people show up for me.
I believe it's because I was usually the one who showed up first.
Not because I had a system. But because I had decided that relationships were the most important thing I was building. So this weekend, I'm flying to visit my sister for her birthday. Next weekend, a small guys trip with a personal chef and a book I'm writing.
Are those the most efficient uses of my time? Probably not.
But efficiency isn't the point. Beauty is the point. And when I look back, it's the people (not the wins) that made this life beautiful.
So before you ask "How do I find better friends?"
Ask a better question first.
What am I building? If I died in 12 months what would I want the people around me to say about me? Then simply do that.
The community follows the vision.
Your Assignment This Week:
Write down one dream you've been quietly carrying. Not a goal. A dream. The kind that feels slightly too big and slightly too personal to say out loud.
Ask yourself: What kind of person would this dream require me to become? Sit with that.
Take one small action in the direction of that dream this week. One email. One conversation. One yes.
One more thing.
My men's weekend this March 27-29 is sold out—and I'm already building the waitlist for the next one: April 24-26th.
This is intentionally small. 8 guys maximum. That's it.
There are already quite a few guys who wanted to make this one and couldn't. If you want in, reply with the word weekend and I'll add you to the list before it fills up.
Well, that's all for now.
-Daniel
