I was consciously drowning.

I learned something strange about college.

In the last 4 years of running a business not a single customer has asked me about my GPA.

I'm also having a shift in identity.

see, I love learning. But before I started a business I completed 3 different Associates degrees. 6 months after starting it I completed a Bachelors degree and a Mini MBA.

Here’s what I didn’t expect: the classes I got A's in did not change my life. (most I don’t remember) But the classes I got B's and C's in? Those changed my life. Why is that? and how will this help you as you build relationships?

Well, because I then went and lived in ecuador for 77 days. That skill of spanish (the one where I got B’s and C’s) allowed me to build relationships. (Here’s that story on Youtube)

But now? I'm learning russian.

But I'm rerunning the same playbook that worked for me to speak spanish. I’m becoming a polyglot. (Identity first → Action Second)

why? Well for the last 3 years I've gone a missions trip, and in Kyrgyzstan they speak russian.

I became conversationally fluent in spanish. Now I'm in the process of doing the same for russian. So here's what I did. Here's 3 failed attempts and what I'm doing differently this time.

4th times’ the charm. (or something like that)

Here's what I'm doing now:

Here's what I did when I learned spanish: (it took 10 years)

I took spanish 1 and 2. Then took a 4 year break. (not recommended) Then took spanish 3. (and audited a spanish 2 class because I knew it would be hard) I also worked at a grocery store at the same time. (many people there spoke spanish so I could practice)

That was a moment when things clicked. (And where the dream of living in ecuador was born)

and then you'd think I'd learn not to take a multi year break... but 4 years later I realized I was 2 classes away from having an associates in spanish. So I said screw it. I'll take spanish 4 and a conversational class.

And you know why I did all of this? Because I was sponsoring a Kid through compassion international who lived in ecuador and spoke spanish. All of this learning was motivated by the potential of meeting this kid I’d been talking with since I was 16 and he was 6. now he was 15 and I was 25. It was all about a person a relationship.

But I learned a few key things from the conversational class:

I had assignments to watch the movie "Up" on youtube in spanish. That one thing changed how I viewed learning.

Because now I was trying to drown my brain in the language I was learning.

What did this look like?

It meant when I watched youtube I found car youtubers (something I already liked) and watched in spanish.

I also found TV shows in spanish and would watch them on netflix. (they were super well done too)

I also found music in spanish. Worship music. Metal. all of it. I also found podcasts that I liked that were translated into spanish. (many cool podcasts in the self development space are translated into multiple languages or are dubbed into other languages)

I found sermons from steven furtick and would fall asleep to his sermons that were translated in spanish. I also found sermons from Erwin McManus that were in spanish.

I did this for about a year after finishing those classes and before then going to Ecuador for 2 weeks. This gave me a great foundation for my brain to switch into the spanish.

I was consciously drowning my mind in this language.

And when I landed it felt like my brain just switched. I was reading the bible daily in spanish. I was writing in my journal in spanish. I was thinking in spanish. I share all this to say this:

Is learning a new language easy? NO. no it's not. It took me 10 years.

But you know what's harder? Going to a country and feeling regret. Because you had the playbook to learn their language. And not for a lack of ability but for a lack of willingness to be bad before I became good...

It takes so much work to learn a new language. But there is a point of critical mass, where it does get easier. I got there with spanish. I'm not yet there with russian.

I have tried Duolingo. I'd tried learning 1000 of the most useful words. I'd tried something called jump speak before this last missions trip to learn, and I made progress each time. But every time I'd feel disappointed in myself. And honestly... It was WAY harder than I thought it would be. If you see me in person I’ll tell you how to say your welcome in russian. here’s how I tuaght myself to say it: Pre yaght Na Pos Knee Comets ya. Pre yaught na posing knee comets ya.

You ever have that feeling where you know you're capable of learning something and just didn't put in the work?

That was me every year for the last 3 years in Kyrgyzstan.

But I decided to channel that anger into action. Which is why I'm rerunning the playbook that worked for spanish. Taking classes at a community college. And then listening to songs in russian. I'm not yet listening to any podcasts in russian as I fall aslseep. I don't even know how to find those yet. Although I probably should buy disney plus to watch kids shows in russian (kids shows have simpler language which make them great for a new student of a language)

So that's been my journey so far.

It may seem crazy to do all this work. But you know why its worth it?

Because there are people who I care about deeply who speak russian. And if what’s required is to learn their language I'm going to do what's required. This is a game I want to play. Because played out to it's conclusion if I get to the point where I'm conversationally fluent in English Spanish And Russian I'm getting a step closer to being a polyglot. which is someone who I want to be.

Well, what's a skill that you can develop that would let you build better relationships?

When I was younger one of my siblings loved frisbee. I didn't care about frisbee at all. but it was something that allowed us to do something together. So I learned it.

4 years ago there was a group that played volleyball. although I didn't mind volleyball I didn't have any deep love for the sport. But you know what it did? it helped me build 2 of the closest friends I have to this day. Choosing to develop that "skill" of volleyball ended up with me having many great friendships that are still around to this day.

Maybe it's learning to cook and making meals for friends or family.

The most important skill of all? is the skill of learning how to learn.

Learning how YOU learn best. How you learn and how I learn may not be same. But what I do know? if it's a skill, it can be taught. and if it can be taught? you can learn it.

And if I had to give you a few books on this it would be limitless by jim quick and art of the impossible. Both great books on the process of learning how to learn. (which is an underrated skill)

Decide to build one skill that allows you to build relationships with others. in these last 3 months of the year. Future you will thank you for this investment you are making today.

-Daniel