Dear Friend, (3 minute read)

When I was in 4th grade I really liked this girl named Katelyn.

But there was a problem. I was 9. So it felt pointless to try to ask her out.

Even in middle school and highschool I felt the same way. Odds of marrying her are quite low.

So what did I do?

I couldn’t just say nothing. That felt like death. I really liked her.

so instead, I taught myself a skill by mistake that has been the foundation of building great relationships with everyone I’m around.

So here’s what I did. I would not tell her that I liked her.

but what I would do?

I remember seeing her at church and giving compliments freely. on her clothing (if i liked the color of her shirt or pants), or her shoes or her makeup or her hair or eyes. I noticed what was beautiful about her, and I’d just say it.

I didn’t know it at the time, but this was training a skill in me. here’s how this skill can benefit you.

It taught me to look for and find what I like about another person. And that was the first time I developed this skill of finding beauty in another person. I continued to develop this skill. And now I can walk by almost any person and within 2 seconds find something I honestly admire or appreciate about them. And I can do this for girls and guys.

I trained my mind to ask: what do I like about this person? If you learn to like more people, you will build community faster.

And the better I know someone the better compliment I can give. This IS NOT about being fake. It’s about training your mind to find what’s beautiful in the people around you.

How do you do this? ask yourself this question:

How do you do this practically? 3 things. most people don't do these.

Don't be like most people.

Here's the simple (yet powerful) idea.

When you think a good thought about someone.

Say it. Text it. DM it. Leave a voice memo. call them and tell them.

If you can learn to notice 3 things:

1) what people wear

2) the actions they take

3) the attitude they bring

and compliment those things your world will be a better place.

So many people are afraid of saying something wrong or it being weird. I know that I don't know what other people are going through. The smallest positive action can have a HUGE impact.

This isn’t about you, and it isn’t about me.

if all you do is say the good things you think about others AT THE MOMENT that you think them. you will find powerful moments. Lower the filter 1 level.

Here's what this looks like in my life:

When I see people in public, I smile at them. They almost always smile back.

if I see a stranger while I'm detailing, I wave at them. They often wave back.

As I live my life, I notice what other people are wearing. I will compliment:

How someone looks (bonus points if you can connect it to a positive character trait) example. "You look jacked" vs "seems like you're a really disciplined person."

I grew up with sisters, so I tend to be able to notice specific make up and will compliment it.

why? the more time or money someone has invested into something (generally) the more they want someone (who knows) to notice it.

So if a girl has spent an hour on her makeup. It probably feels really good to get a compliment on it. If a guy spent 4 grand on a watch or on rims for his car, he probably wants someone to notice.

And here's the thing about genuine compliments. They cost me as the “noticer” nothing. all it takes is me noticing something about other people and sharing it with them.

Notice the great things about people in your life this week.

Notice the beautiful things about people in your life this week.

Each day give at least 1 complement. Smile at one stranger. And wave at 1 person. One of my favorite things is to give what I call "drive by compliments." it’s the “I like your shoes” as I walk by make eye contact and keep going.

I'm not looking for anything. I know that I don't know what other people are going through. The smallest positive action can have a HUGE impact.

So give with no expectation of return. Smiles, waves, compliments. they have no value until they are given away.

If you can learn to notice 3 things:

1) what people wear

2) the actions they take

3) the attitude they bring

and compliment those things your world will be a better place.soon you will have a village of people who are for you. because in a world where there is so much going on... being seen is a gift. and its simple to give.

Welp, that’s all for now. Go make someone’s day.

-Daniel

PS if this was helpful, send this to someone who’s building community and friendships.