How I learn from everyone.

Dear Andre, (2.8 min read)

Words I like: Every women and man is my superior in some way. In that I learn from them. (Emerson with slight modification)

Idea I like: 5 levels of friendship: 5) Money 4) Execution 3) Ideas 2) People 1) Past

It’s really easy to be siloed into an echo chamber of people and content that reinforces what you believe to be true.

the one thing that combats that? having close friends who aren't like you. It gives you perspective and nuance in a world that silos us into our own way of thinking.

Most people have friends who are exactly like they are. Which is great, if you want to stay where you are. If you want to grow and develop, it’s the worst choice you could make.

see, having people who are different will give you a more well-rounded view of the world. I have the gift of having good friends of mine in both political parties.

I have good friends of mine who are straight and good friends of mine who are gay.

I have good friends of mine who own businesses and good friends of mine who think businesses are evil.

I have friends who are very pro-capitalism and friends that are a part of the communist party. I have friends who are younger than me by 10 years. And great relationships with people who are 10-45 years older than I am. And I also have friends that are quite diverse in their ethnic background. And if you think this is by accident, you're wrong.

A big piece of why I do this is because I understand that I have a limited perspective based on my upbringing, skillset, worldview, and age. By having these friends of mine that are living a completely different experience, it then gives me the ability to bring my thoughts to them and test them against other people's worldview and perspective that is so drastically different from the world that I live in most of the time, while simultaneously having the safety of the friendship that we've developed to be able to think through ideas that matter.

I’m able to hold this tension between different world views, and then pull the best parts out of each of them. Sometimes I steal things from people who I completely disagree with, but they get one thing right way better than anyone else. And I’ll happily steal the best things from anyone who does things well. In that I’m agnostic.

This last week I got to go to Brazil and experience Carnival with a friend of mine who is from Brazil. (Gustavo the guy holding the phone)

I also got invited to a lunch with NT wright because of another friend. (less than 24 hours after being back)

It’s yet another example of the contrast that I live in. Where you go from a country that is having the biggest party. To come home and have the chance to meet one of the most well known theologians of our time. (NT wright)

One person shouldn’t do both. But I love contrast. And I love being able to navigate multiple worlds and hold space for each of them. That’s something that most of the people I look up to can do. Somehow be in places that most people couldn’t handle the tension of.

So my challenge for you this week: Think of someone who is different from you, and go to coffee or lunch with them. Ask them questions about why the believe what they believe. With the intend to try to understand (even if you completely disagree)

This is a skill that may become lost if we don’t practice it. Instead you of assuming their stupid or bad or dumb, try to understand how they came to that conclusion. We have a lot more in common than we have differences.

Well that’s all for now.

-Daniel

PS If you haven’t read my book just start. It’s available on amazon. The audio book will be launching soon.