How I almost lost my mind.

Dear Friend, (4 min read)

I almost lost my mind in July of 2020.

Not because of the news. Nor the uncertainty. But because I went six days without being around another human being. Something in me started to break.

It was the first time in my life where I didn't just choose to stay home. I genuinely couldn't go anywhere. And what I discovered in that season wrecked me in the best possible way.

I needed people more than I wanted to admit.

Here's what I mean.

Before Covid, I was like a fish that had never been out of water. I was always around people. Many times per week. And I had convinced myself that needing people was a kind of weakness. That the strong move was self-sufficiency.

Then week two of July hit.

I remember sitting in my room feeling crazy. I Called my dad after listening to 2 seasons of a podcast in 4 days. How did I have this much time? it was Like something essential had been unplugged.

I started paying attention.

What I found was this: I need to be around people at least four days a week to be the healthiest version of myself. Not just any people. People. Physical presence. Eye contact. The energy of a room that has other humans in it.

That was discovery number one.

Discovery number two happened three years later. In Spain.

I'm four days into a 100 km walk of the Camino de Santiago. Surrounded by some of my favorite people on the planet. Great conversations. Stunning scenery. Laughing until our legs hurt.

And I felt completely off.

Not tired. Not sick. Off. Like something was missing that I couldn't name.

So I sat with it. I started asking the question: What is actually happening right now?

Then it hit me.

For four straight days, I had not said hello or goodbye to a single person.

Think about that.

We were together the entire time. Same trail. Same meals. Same bunks. Which meant there were no greetings. No handshakes or hugs (but a few high fives).

No hello. No goodbye. Just... constant together.

And it was making me feel SO strange.

Here's what I learned about myself that week on the Camino:

If I don't receive a hug from someone at least once every four days, I start to feel insane.

I know that might sound soft. I thought it sounded soft when I first said it out loud.

But then I remembered something.

Babies who don't receive physical touch don't just get sad. They die. The research is clear physical contact isn't a luxury for infants. It's a biological requirement. It's called failure to thrive, and it's not subtle.

Here's the thing: I don't think that need fully disappears when we turn 18. I think we just get better at pretending it does.

I think a lot of us are quietly failing to thrive right now. and blaming it on work, or sleep, or stress when the actual problem is that we haven't had a hug in 5 days.

Now, every person is different.

Some of you need daily physical affirmation. Some of you are fine with less. That's not the point.

The point is this: community is not optional infrastructure. It's not a nice-to-have. It's not a reward you earn after you've got everything else figured out. You NEED people who believe in you and love you.

It's the thing that everything else is built off of. People Over everything. Because everything you want actually through the right people.

Your physical health, your mental clarity, your emotional stability, your spiritual groundedness. All of it is connected to whether or not you have people who love you in your orbit, regularly, with intention.

Being around people matters. Being known by people matters. A handshake, a hug, a hand on the shoulder. This matters more than most of us let ourselves believe.

Your Assignment This Week:

1. Identify your number. How many days can you go without meaningful in-person connection before you start to feel off? Pay attention. It's different for everyone.

2. Reach out to one person today. Not a text. A call, a plan, or a hug. Actually show up somewhere with someone who matters to you. (especially if they live with you)

3. Ask yourself honestly: Are you thriving right now? or are you quietly just getting by, and calling it independence?

One more thing.

This next Friday through Sunday, March 27-29 , I'm hosting a men's weekend. Cabin in colfax, Private chef with a 3 course meal and time to work on that 1 project you've been meaning to work on but put on the back burner. (I'll be working on my next book)

If you want in, reply with the word weekend only 2 slots left.

Well, that's all for now.

-Daniel